Thursday, December 24, 2009

Thinking about where I am, where I'm going, and what got me here

So this is kinda weirding me out to write about but its on my mind so I need to write to get it off my chest. Usually I'm very happy and optimisic, can't wait for what comes next, and just happy being where I'm at, with the great people that I surround myself with. But tonight I just feel old and lonely which are two things that I most certainly am not!
Sarina and Tyler got engaged tonight. Out of my group of friends from Middle School in Evanston, Wyo there are very few of us left. Also the real kicker is that everyone is married or getting married to someone else in the group. Scott and Brooke married. Cameron and Kayla married. Conrad and Alex engaged. Chris married, with a kid. And now Tyler and Sarina engaged. There are still a few of us left, but the only one I still talk to is Shane and as far as I know we are just friends.
I consider myself very accomplished. I'm a hairdresser/stylist/nail tech, I graduated from esthetics school and just need to take my test to be a Master Esthetician. I've done a little traveling, moved out been on my own, done so many things that I wouldn't have been able to do if I settled down already. And I have a job where I will get to do more traveling, meet new people and have many more crazy adventures... when I finally leave.
I've been watching the show Being Erica lately and I love it. Erica is 32, still single, and recently fired. She meets this therapist who is able to send her back in time. She has the chance to change how she did things, and usually she learns that by changing things she is still the same person but has learned a lesson that she can apply to her life now. Its so true you have to learn from your past and not make the same mistakes.
Its been reminding me of myself of late. I've been thinking back on my life, wondering where I would be had I one through High School differently, had I dated James or Billy. Or even just this past year, Billy got home off his mission and I ran screaming the other way. I started dating David, but he wasn't the guy for me so it ended as fast as it started, these days if you're not interested they feel lead on if you keep going on dates. But I know that things happen for a reason and you just keep going along in life. Hopefully you learn something and grow stronger. Anyways Im getting off this soap box of mine with a song that I have grown to love. Most of you will recognize it, and right now it is how I feel.


loretta said...

You're welcome for leading you to Being Erica. Told you you'd love it!

tawnya said...

Hey! I was watching that a couple of weeks ago...

Dad Mom said...

Love you. Grandma Hulsey